The Secret Life of Mobile Suits
by Shad0cat
Summary: We've all seen the pilots talk to their Gundams as if they were alive. What if they were? This is a silly story about just that.


The Secret Life Of Mobile SuitsDisclaimer:I do not own Gundam Wing(or any of it's characters or suits ect)Gundam Wing Ownz me and D-Hell and Epyon ownz you all! This story is the product of my boredom at work and an overdose of Skittles in Pepsi.

The Secret Life of Mobile Suits

  
by Shad0cat

Ok so we've all watched the guys talk to their Gundams time and time again as though they were alive. My theory is that if they were sentient and could talk they would probably speak and express themselves (since being metal they're not really capable of of facial expressions)in a special form of radio transmission not normally audible to the human ear without the special translation equipment used for this story.

Wing Zero- ::::such transmissions will be displayed like this. ::::

Thank you Zero ^_^

Wing Zero- ::::(smiles)::::

So now that you understand how this works, on with the story......

  
Another late night and another hard battle. Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei park their Gundams in the hangar and head for their rooms to turn in for the evening, but not before glancing with admiration at the wonderful machines that have come through for them time and time again and spared their lives yet another day. Each has always seen their suit as more than a suit,more like the other half of their personal team. They often looked on them as if they had a life of their own.....if only they knew....

The five suits stood patiently as they heard the echo of the large hanger doors clanging shut behind their pilots and listened as the footsteps trail of into the distance. Heavyarms was the first to move from it's appointed place.

Heavyarms-::::Well I've certainly had enough of this I'm going to go take a nap::::

Nobody said a thing to Heavyarms as he walked off to a shadowed corner of the hanger. Heavyarms rarely had anything to say to anyone anyhow unless he was getting ready to blow someones head off so the other Gundams rarely bothered, they just stayed out of his way.

Deathsycthe Hell made its way over to a group of oil drums and went looking for a spout.

Deathsycthe-Hell-::::I dunno about anyone else but kicking ass makes me thirsty....anyone else want anything?...Zero?::::

Zero walked over to the edge of the catwalk, usually used by humans to make repairs on the upper parts of their mobile suits, but it made a decent substitute for a table for 5 story mobile suits.

Wing Zero-::::Sure I could go for that::::

Deathscythe Hell-::::Sandrock?....Netaku?::::

Netaku waved to D-Hell in acknowledgement of his offer and walked over to where Zero was standing. Sandrock also joined Zero.

Sandrock-(slamming his fist down on the "counter")::::NO! I DO NOT NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK I WANNA BREAK SOMETHING!! That kid keeps holding me back and it's DRIVING ME INSANE!!! all the time its SURRENDER SURRENDER SURRENDER! Forget the surrender! THEY NEVER DO IT ANYWAYS!! the morons! What's their problem anyways? Lets skip it JUST TRASH THEM!! Are they not afraid of me? WELL THEY SHOULD BE ! They should be THEY SHOULD BE VERY AFRAID!!! The kid is killing my image!::::

Netaku watched Sandrocks display with a bit of boredom in his eyelights and watched as D-hell put spouts in the oil drums and walked over to them, handing them their drinks. Zero took the can from D-hell and looked at it thoughtfully before voicing his own thoughts.

Wing Zero-::::You think you've got pilot problems....Every day I'm losing more and more control over Heero. It used to be lots of fun....I'd show him something, drive him nuts, and we'd trash everything in the area. That's starting to get old tho. Right now I think I need a vacation. I've been at it now for two weeks trying to tell him....(gazing hypnoticly) you neeeeeed a vacation, you neeeeeeed a vacation....... I even fed that boy 200 images of that Relena girl in a bikini. Sure it gets his attention......but he's not getting the message. I'm beginning to think that the boy doesn't know what a vacation is. All I end up doing is distracting him *alot* and that's gonna get us both killed::::

Wing Zero looked curiously over at D-hell who seemed to be fumbling with a small package of something.

Wing Zero-::::(eyebrow raised)D-hell what are you doing?::::

Deathscythe Hell-::::They're skittles...for my drink (grin) some cute chick taught me this::::

Netaku-::::You don't know any cute chicks::::

Deathsycthe Hell-::::Yeah I do::::

Netaku-::::riiiiiight ....like you knew that Aeries...::::

Wing Zero-::::Yeah...you really blew it with that Aeries....::::

Deathsycthe Hell-::::Oh yeah....like you guys could do better..::::

Netaku-::::Yeah but..."Hey baby what's your sign?"::::

Deathsycthe-Hell leans back against the wall ignoring the taunt, calling to mind a vision of that Aeries.

Deathscythe-Hell-::::That Aeries had nice legs.::::

Sandrock Smirked.

Sandrock-::::Not as nice as the pair on Noin's Taurus::::

Netaku-::::I think you should get over Noin's taurus...I mean look at you your obsessed! Not only that but you should see the way Epyon looks at her....I don't think your going to win this one.::::

Sandrock scowled at Netaku and Netaku shrugged off the glare of death.

Sandrock-::::And what has Epyon got that I havn't got?::::

Netaku-:::: a tail...the fem suits definately like a mech with a cute tail::::

D-hell and Zero nodded in agreement. Then Netaku added...

Netaku-:::: Epyon also has Noin's Taurus' full attention::::

Sandrock-::::Well nobody ASKED you JUSTICE BOY! At least *I'm* not in love with my pilot::::

Netaku-:::: I can see why.....your pilot wears pink shirts and stops battles for tea time.::::

Sandrock-::::Hey! DON'T mess with the kid. Leave the kid out of it.::::

In spite of their differences Sandrock really had a soft spot for Quatre and he wasn't about to let anyone hurt or bad mouth him in any way.

Netaku-::::The *kid* is weak!::::

Sandrock-::::THAT'S IT!...this is the part where you shout" IT'S A GUNDAM" and prepare to DIE!!::::

Sandrock tackled Netaku and pinched it between his heatblades as they rolled around the room kicking up a cloud of dust that had been settling for decades in the hangar. Nothing could be seen of them aside from their shiloettes and the occasional stray fire blasts and bullets that erupted from the cloud and tore holes in the sides of the hangar. D-hell and Zero Watched the fray.

Deathscythe-Hell-::::O_O::::

Wing Zero-(shaking his head)::::They're going to wake up Heavyarms....I see no future for them...::::

As if on cue Heavyarms appeared guns ready from the cloud of dust and headed over to Netaku and Sandrock. Without a word he let them both have it with several rockets and both mecha breasts. They turned and counter attacked and the dust cloud got even thicker as one more Gundam joined the fray.

Wing Zero began to emit a warning beep.

Zero,having the most sensative radar and the partial ability to predict the future had picked up on something.

  


*****

  
In a room not far from the hangar Heero stirred in his sleep. He could hear it...that sound...explosions and gunshots...his eyes snapped open on instinct as he honed in on its source. Frowning he got out of bed and put on his spandex shorts and went to awaken the others.....something was wrong. Noone should have known about this hideout let alone come to attack it.

  


*****

  
Wing Zero-::::Somebody's comming::::

Deathscythe Hell-::::look at this mess...::::

Wing Zero-::::GUYS SOMEONE IS COMMING::::

Noone was listening.

Wing Zero-::::GUYS!!!::::

Still noone listened. Zero put his hand on his forehead...he was getting a circuit ache. He peeked at D-hell from under his hand.

Wing Zero-::::Shall we?::::

Deathscythe Hell-::::(smirk) Let's::::

Zero and D-hell ran head first into the fray. D-hell tripped Heavyarms and picked it up by its right leg and held it upside down. D-hell used it's scythe to Trip up Netaku while Wing Zero pinned him to the floor under his foot. Zero grabbed Sandrock and held its twin buster rifle to his head. And that's how it was when the dust and smoke cleared. D-hell looked at heavyarms.

Deathscythe Hell-::::Now that we have your full attention....::::

Heavyarms-::::(sneering at both having his fun intterupted and being upside down)::::

Wing Zero-::::The pilots are comming this way, we don't have time to clean this place up so everyone as fast as you can get back to your spots.::::

Zero barely got past " the pilots are comming" and everyone split faster than they eye could follow and found their places just as the door to the hanger flew open.

Heero stood in the doorway, gun ready as usual, and surveyed the scene before him and frowned. The others stepped in behind him and stood staring at the mess

"Look at this place!"Duo gestured at the shambles that used to be a hanger."

This is a bigger mess then that one party we had at Quatre's house."

Quatre started getting a headache at the mention of that particular party."you remember right?" Duo went on laughing at the memory. "Somebody spiked the punch and Rashid put on that dress and...."

"Duo...shut up,"Heero interjected. Quatre laughed inwardly and shook his head. Not that that wasn't fun but, they certainly had made a mess. Duo had said that *someone* had spiked the punch, and Quatre was quite sure he knew who that *someone* was.

Wufei didn't say a word he just went over to examine his Gundam more closely.

Duo didn't shut up but instead changed the subject.

"So how do you think Oz found us?"

Trowa looked around the hangar then at the Gundams and then Back around the Hangar again.

I'm not so sure it was Oz. It doesn't make any sense."

"He's right,"Quatre agreed"Why would Oz come here and trash this place but leave the Gundams here?"

"But, it has to be Oz,"Duo argued."This is a fanfic...it's *ALWAYS* Oz in the fanfics."

Heero too was puzzled by this. He decided to ask Wing Zero. The Gundams watched holding their *breath* as Heero climbed into the cockpit of Wing Zero.

Heero sat down and punched a few buttons then asked Zero about what had happened in the hangar. A few lights flashed on the panels but Zero didn't give Heero his answer. Heero frowned.

Wing Zero-(to the other 4) ::::Come on you guys.....I need help here.....I don't know what to tell him and I can't tell him what actually happened.....I'm no good at excuses::::

Heero tapped the panel again impatiently, his irritation growing by the minute.

"Zero....."

Suddenly the yellow lights on the screen whirled around and Heero was bombarded with many strange images.

Heero was surprised at what he saw but not the least bit amused. He exited and went over to where the others were. Wufei had finished his inspection of Netaku and joined the group at the foot of Zero.

"So what did Zero tell you?" Wufei asked.

All of them stood waiting impatiently for the answer. Heero frowned.

"Zero says that this damage was caused by a group of aliens lead by the Epyon and Elvis......Someone must have tampered with it.....Relena doesn't have a dog."

"A dog?" Quatre was puzzled. Heero turned to Duo to clarify

"Zero also said...that a dog ate Duo's homework." Duo smirked and raised an eyebrow.

Deathsycthe Hell-::::^_^::::

Netaku-::::Baka!::::

They all ran many systems checks on their Gundams but they never did find out what actually happened that night. So it became just one more strange night in the life of the Gundam pilots.

The End

  



End file.
